Our Invisible Show is…
This is such an empty feeling.
…on for Saturday July 13! Who cares about the hours as it will all look the same after about 10 PM the night before. We are a go for our first invisible show of the season that is guaranteed to not amaze anyone. Once again, we’re giving away free nothing burgers to the first 500 who don’t show up.
Imagine, nothing but an empty lot, a leaf from last fall tumbling effortlessly in the breeze from one end of the south lots to the other. Silence. This is what you will see at our first non-event of the season. You could bring a lawn chair and watch people circle in who didn’t read this. Tell them they were all arrested and the police are looking for them too.
Our invisible show is designed to leave you with that empty feeling inside, just like your last breakup—the one where nobody threw anything. If we’ve perfected this trick, this should feel exactly like when you look around in that bar at 2 AM, see it’s empty, and realize that YOU, in fact, are the real swamp donkey. To make it less obvious, and look useful at the same time, you help the band pack up their stuff and slide out the door hoping nobody notices. But they do. You may as well have it stamped on your forehead. You go home and wish you never got that neck tattoo.
Okay, for those who are from or have connections to Fresno, this means there won’t be a car show this Saturday. It’s time for the Redmond Arts Festival instead, so come and eat some weird popcorn, buy a garden gnome, or some chutney. Chutney! You know something will be carved with a chainsaw or a tiny chisel, so don’t miss it!
While Italian Car Day was a huge success, we are banning three cars that behaved badly at E@RTC: two Huracans, a white and a grey, and a grey Ferrari 458 will get the boot the next time they show up. You’re not welcome back. You were warned too. Even though we understand you wanted to get your moms’ cars back before she woke up after a long night “on the pole,” it’s still no excuse…, no, the other pole… no, not that one either. It’s the kind you climb at night to restore power. Anyway, you’re done.
We’ll see the remainder of you next Saturday, assuming we get good weather.