I Can’t Believe We’re…
…on for Italian Car Day this Saturday, July 6! This has been an absolute favorite event over the years and one that draws people from all over the world. Maybe even Fresno!
This is more exciting than the hand surgeon parking lot at Harbor View on the 5th of July! We all know, no matter what, there are fewer fingers playing the piano after the 4th. Our safety tip for the 4th. Throw it sooner.
The weather is looking wonderful, and we’re expecting a record turnout because of the combination of nice weather, the special event, and the holiday weekend. Don’t forget that all cars that meet our criteria are still welcome, and we’re expecting a few surprises to show up. No, not your angry ex—we’re talking about cars here.
Italian cars get the center of the mall and along 164th, and the other cars will be in our usual lots. You don’t want to sit this one out if you have that special car because there are so many who would love to see it! We get a lot of vacationers in from all over the world on this particular weekend, so please come out and show them what our car culture is all about. They would rather see your car than that nasty Gum Wall, so come out!
As a side note, not to bum anyone out, but we’re also going to crack down a bit more on cars that leave early and don’t let us know in advance. This is a big safety issue, and everyone knows your showboating, so you end up slowly driving out with that invisible L over your forehead, like it or not. Trust me, nobody is impressed. It’s about as classy as cropdusting an elevator. In that moment, you may as well be driving a minivan. If we’re being the least bit truthful, nobody driving a minivan ever gets any. Driving one is the four-wheel version of a chemical castration.
Not only that, when you leave early, you just displaced a car that could have been in that spot that wanted to stay and maybe didn’t get in, so you look like an even bigger tool bag. Don’t do it. Stay for the two hours so it’s worthwhile for everyone. You may even meet someone new! Call your mom and ask her if it’s okay for you to keep her car until the end. This way, she can sleep in after that rough night with the boys.
If you must leave early, like we keep saying, you have to let us know ahead of time so we can park you on an end to reduce your embarrassment while decreasing the number of people who make fun of you. This is a safety issue, so please help us out on this. Otherwise, we have to ban you from the show. We don’t think we ask for a lot from the car community. As we keep saying about our rules, it’s not like we’re asking you for a kidney.
See you Saturday!