This Saturday is Italian Car Day!
It's hard to believe, but Italian Car Day is this coming Saturday, marking the first week of summer in the Pacific Northwest. This is one of our biggest event days of the season, and you don't want to miss it. If you have relatives in town, this is a good place to take them — or ditch them. It's a spectacular event, always packed, so come see the beauties that show up. The cars are nice too.
Also, today is the 4th of July, or National Missing Finger Day. That fifth finger is likely in a neighbor's yard because you got a bit sloppy with that M-80 toss. July 5th is National Hand Surgeon Day, and burn units tend to see an uptick in smoldering boom-boom jockeys. Eye surgeons do well and Home Depot also see an uptick in rooftop patch kits and post-fire tarps. I'm guessing that July is a decent month for glass eyes. Then, of course, you have the audiologists and hearing-aid salespeople, all anticipating a good month. Every emergency room from here to Pocono will smell like a combination of burnt chicken and gunpowder. It's probably a toss-up with hunting season. But hey, it only happens once a year.
In some states, the only firework not legal is anything with a nuclear warhead. That's where they draw the line. But there's no problem leveling that pesky acre of woods out back. It's amazing how two states, Washington and Missouri, could be so different. It's not as if Missouri has fewer homes on the 5th than Washington. While both lose a few, there isn't a lot of news about one place burning up more than the other.
With so many fireworks in Missouri, you'd think the 5th would be devoted to just finding body parts, but no. It's about the same as Washington. They should just make public service commercials that say, "Don't be slow to throw!"
As kids, there weren't many restrictions about what you could blow up. You just needed permission. If you wanted to send Gram-Gram's car into the neighbor's yard, she just had to say it was okay. Nobody got too upset about anything. Now, with tighter laws, if a flag comes out that just says "boom," it's enough to get you banned from planes for life. But every 4th of July, no matter where you are in the U.S. at sunset, you hear more explosions than on D-Day at Omaha Beach, serving as a reminder that people still value freedom and big booms. While a bell may signify an angel getting its wings, a boom signifies someone somewhere sending a few fingers across town.
Happy 4th everyone! See you all Saturday! Stay safe!
We'll post again on Thursday at our usual time with any late-breaking news.