Our Second Annual Invisible Show is this Saturday!
This Saturday, July 15, is our second annual Invisible Car Show. This is one you will want to miss. We promise that this will be the worst car show you can’t possibly see or we double no money back! It’s that fantastic! We work all year to perfect this event. You can stand there at any angle and not see anything rare, exotic, or the least bit interesting. Exotic and rare cars from all over the world and from some of the top collectors won’t be there! This is so brilliant it makes Taco Bell taste good! (We can only dream.)
All 36 of our volunteers simultaneously turn off their 5 AM alarms that Saturday morning to ceremoniously begin the sequence of turning RTC into one empty lot, except for the guy with the vacuum truck who’s out sucking up all traces of sloppy human life including those house keys that fell out of your pocket, all while shoulder-dancing to ABBA and singing out loud. This will be more fun than standing in line at the DMV!
This is even more fun than time with that newly minted dental hygienist who just Cavatroned a hole in your gums! This will be even more surprising than an unexpected ball punch from your four year old nephew who sent you to the ground in that fetal position faster than Mike Tyson. This will be even better than five minutes in Fresno!
Speaking of invisible, there are four cars who you won’t see at future E@RTC events. They are as follows:
Black C63 AMG license plate BHC9255 that exited sideways out of bear creek.
The black C6 Z06, BXU9491
The Chalk Grey 911 Turbo S, no plates, 5 spoke wheels
Lastly the Grey Nissan GTR, CAA1703
You are all banned from E@RTC, however you can participate in any invisible show you like somewhere else like beautiful and majestic Knob Noster, MO that has perfected the continuous invisible show.
We assume when we have people who lack self-control and behave badly that they somehow haven’t been able to make that leap into basic maturity. We always suspect that they leave E@RTC, where they then sneak the car back to their moms and go back to reading “Why Can’t I Find a Girlfriend? (Even one from Northern Kazjkdastan)” in her basement, later practicing Backstreet Boy dance moves in the mirror. Hint, you are as appealing as those dirty dishes from last week. Now take out the garbage before your mom gets home like you promised. She had a rough night.
I keep reading that village idiots are in short supply, but here are some stellar examples. We know it’s bad when the 2 AM swamp donkeys would rather sleep under a table than leave the bar with you.
Also, to the person who left their Alfa angle parked on Saturday, long after the show was over, that was a dick move and we hope you don’t come back either.
We will see you all again on July 22nd unless it rains.