Our Opening Day…

…went well. Thank you all for coming out! The weather was barely on the edge of decent and some had to drive in the rain to attend. In total we had about 540 rare and exotic cars, which was not a record, and we are full at about 550 cars. We didn’t have time to count participant cars because so many arrived early and we were busier than a fat guy in a donut shop at closing time.

We had over 200 emails and message just Friday alone. It’s not that we mind answering questions and it helps us figure out what needs emphasis, it’s just a lot of stuff to do. Some are great questions! Others, well, save us both time and look at what we’ve posted so far. About 75% of the answers are all right there.

Okay, now for the annoying stuff…

Where we did have problems was bad-behaving cars along Bear Creek making unnecessary excessive noise while displaying their moronic personalities for all to witness and record. Most were cars not normally allowed in the show, but a few were, and we’re not letting them back in. There is a white R8 with CF panels for one. There are others we noted.

Some of you may need to plug your sensitive ears as you read this, but generally if we’re all being honest about it, narcissistic tuners are the terminal cancer of all car shows. If you’re pitching a fit and wiggling around in your mom’s basement as you read this, it’s probably you. As it was just pointed out to me as an astute observation; the only one who gets mad about stamping out sheep molestation are the molesters. Even sheep know this. Ponder that little thought morsel before you flame us.

In our case, cancer treatment is either a pretreatment in the form of registering all cars to attend because of you, or a form of surgery which means banning your ass forever. That Green Audi that came through center court that left early will not be welcome back, ever. Go home and pay someone on Tinder for your fun. Look for the phots with ostrich feathers as you will be more compatible.

The fact that some of you are out trying to impress young boys along Bear Creek is a little worrisome to your moms. You seriously wonder why you can’t get a girl or boyfriend? Here’s a hint. They see how you behave and have visions of you registering everywhere you live for the rest of your life! You won’t be allowed anywhere near a school or playground where your car probably matters.

Not only that, we now have no choice but to place further restrictions on modded cars, regardless of brand or model, all because of you. From now on, you show up loud, you’re not getting in. Go ruin some other car event. Loud does not equal impressive. You think it sounds awesome while most women know you’re dating a sock.

The highly narcissistic, immature, with complete lack of self control who were driving up and down Bear Creek are not welcome in or near the event. We take our citizenship around Redmond very seriously and you’re just too self-absorbed to be allowed in any show. Go do that in front of Chuck E. Cheese or something and impress them, but leave us the hell alone.

What we can do, and something we’re considering, is require that all cars register for entry along with photos, all because of you. We’ll even name the registration requirement after you as a reminder of your contribution to the car community. Registration makes it then easier for us to deal with you and it helps the police identify those causing trouble. It also makes it easier for your mom to lock you out of the house. She will stop buying you Hot Pockets and Pudding Pops! Is that what you want?

Car people know each other, and you know who these assholes are, so talk to them, and tell them how they are stinking up the place and talk them into going somewhere else. Go start your “Cars and Coffee” and see just how long you last before you ruin that too.

Sorry about that folks. I’d much rather write about something else. Literally anything! I’d rather write a book about bunions.

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