And we’re back…to rained out!
This is as disappointing as that TV dinner mom would sling at us when she was too tired to cook or mad at us for some reason. Remember those when we were kids?
For those of you too young, they came in a metal tray and you’d heat them in the oven at a temp hot enough to melt glass. They were dreadful, but it usually meant you could watch TV over dinner, hence the name. The inconspicuous apple cobbler was a little cup of crumb encrusted magma up in the corner. Everything else would cool when it came out of the oven except that. It was this gooey little blob of nuclear waste just waiting to destroy the roof of your mouth on contact and leave you unable to taste anything or talk for days. For our mom, I think that was the whole idea.
It was sort of like the old McDonald’s Apple-lava pie where you’d go straight from the drive through to hospital burn unit. The emergency room kept a special lane for those who came straight from McDonald’s. It’s like McDonald’s had a plot to kill us all!
If you cut it open, it would heat your entire car and instantly fog the windows. I’m sure someone must have sued them for wrongful death, pain and suffering, skin grafts, speech therapy, or pie anxiety.
I just looked it up, they sure did get sued. They would say right on the box “contents may be hot.” Why not just say it, “this product contains magma.”
As you may recall, we got a late start last season because of COVID, this year could be like last, where it’s a constant potential overdose of dihidrogen-oxide before the weather eventually gets nice. Did you know that in large quantities dihydrogen-oxide can kill humans in less than three minutes? See how easy it is to make an outrageous headline? Of course, the media would say, “Wut…it’s all true…”
Saturday was an incredible opener. I didn’t know we had some bad behavior until the next day. We did hear about some stuff. There was a silver Corvette that won’t be allowed back in. I also got a note from someone telling me about three cars driving like asshats on their way to the event, especially coming off of 520. One was a yellow Lamborghini, a dark Porsche and a BMW among others. When these window lickers do that kind of stuff, it does get reported to us and we do ban them from the event for good. We don’t do warnings as many of you already know. These events are just too fragile. We get witnesses, plates, and you’re done.
We have lots of newbies this year based on the quantity of email we’re getting. We can tell by the ratio of questions that are already answered somewhere on our site, or where answers are common knowledge. We don’t mind answering them again, as it helps us know what to capitalize and underline or make larger on our website. Don’t be afraid to ask us stuff. We do answer every email. We even answer the snarky ones where you make demands on us. The Honda Type R argument is a little old.
We spend a lot of time on our criteria and one thing we’ve noticed is that when we uphold our standards, the bigger collectors come out, so we do give this a lot of thought. Our goal is always the best show possible and quality over quantity. We want to be the best, not the biggest.
It’s also kind of fun to read the site stats and see where people come from, and what content matters to everyone. We’re glad you read the blog, even if you hate it. We don’t fuss about the popularity of our site as we’re way more focused on the event itself. We get people who constantly offer services to boost our site’s popularity, but we could do that just river dancing around in Speedos but that wouldn’t be so pleasant to all of you, so we don’t. “Powered by Fat Guys in Speedos,” always brings us mail, especially when you click it.
It amazes me still, we could spend months working on a serious car story, research the crap out of it, but some Twinkie will make a video and bounce for 30 seconds on TikTok and it will get millions of views and everyone will ask for their opinion about world affairs. We know, I tried bouncing. The world has become a strange place.
See you all next Saturday!