We’re canceled due to high atmospheric levels of dihydrogen-oxide creating significant discomfort at ground level…

…special clothing designed to repel the effects of dihydrogen-oxide are recommended.

For those of you who are chemically challenged, or from Fresno, it means we’re rained out again, but look at the bright side, you now have time to make a casserole, or a bundt cake, or that crap we ate with tuna and shells, remember that? Make some of that and give it to your kids and see if they lay around wiggling like we did. I think it made us immune to everything.

Yes, we’ll try again next week.

This is the time of year when we get a lot of criteria questions. Most of the time, they can be answered by looking at the easy to follow criteria page, which was recently updated by some of our volunteers after a few rounds of internal debate without name calling. We didn’t make a lot of changes, but some. It’s the American brands that give us the most trouble.

It doesn’t do you any good to use the card to get in, “Well I’m a friend of…” because that would imply that we’re political and clubby, which we’re not. It would also assume that we like that other person who’s name you’re using. We won’t even cave to the threat of disclosing embarrassing photos. Besides, we’ve all seen them already. We’re always trying to sort out a grey area in the definition of “exotic and rare” and what is a good show. We ignore those cards every time.

There was specific debate about new car editions; models or brands. We will let in something we think is unique that people want to see, but it’s up to us to call it based on volume. People will want to see Rivian’s for a while, so we’ll let them in temporarily. Same with Fisker and some of the others. We’re always looking for what draws people and what brings the hate mail.

New manufacturers are always interesting at first. Like the first time you saw that special someone until you got to know them a little better and lay awake at night asking yourself, “what the hell was I thinking?” Now you’d gladly trade what you thought was a gem for any last-call swamp donkey at the Likidy Split. You went from “Oh baby!” to “Run like the wind!” and it happened almost overnight! It’s not that bad for us, but we do eventually have to move onto what’s new.

We’re more like a bakery. We all love fresh rolls. Think of the new criteria as fresh rolls right out of the oven.

We want to bring you what’s new and cool and we’ve been unveiling new stuff since we began. Then one day, like old bakery, it’s just not appealing anymore. There was a time when all Tesla S came in. Now you’d all laugh at us if we let in anything but a Plaid or roadster.

We can’t emphasize this enough, paint and mods count for squat. We don’t care if it’s the only yellow car ever made. It still says Prius on the back, which means you’re already a shitty driver. The car has to be substantially modified to a very high standard and run by us first. We’re not a modded show. That doesn’t make the grade. So, listing the wheels and exhaust, only makes us snooze through the email. Read the criteria and then write us and we’ll get back you as soon as we can.

For those of you out buying a new car. Notice how some dealers are trying to get above sticker? What we call the snicker price? Well, there is a new crowd-sourced website called Markups.org where you can upload who’s charging what if at all. Please contribute with the latest info you have. I made an entry myself. This will help keep dealers in check. If they think the practice is okay, then they won’t mind if we out them. And, for those of you who care, as I do, we see the dealers to avoid.