Rained out AGAIN! We hope to see you April 29!

Mom Nature said, "Not this Saturday children, I have some watering to do," so we're all screwed. We will try again on the 29th. We do have a big surprise in store as we get closer to that day. You will be pleased. At least most of you will be. There is always that one guy who preferred a pony.

And now a word for our Sponsors!

Please come and shop at Redmond Town Center whenever possible! RTC does a lot for us and we are always grateful for their terrific support. We also picked up sponsorship from Ferrari of Seattle and Bentley, Lamborghini, Rolls Royce of Bellevue. That money just covers the cost of our shirts for the season, the ones that try not to make us look fat, which are surprisingly expensive.

Those shirts are important to us because it makes it a lot easier for us to see each other and get cars in the entrance and parked, especially on those days when over four-hundred of you show up and we're running around like tots on a jungle gym trying to get everyone in the right place. The shirts also make us look snappy, like we're a real thing, like we know what we're doing. It's our attempt at beautifying the thugs. We know we could scare paint into a different shade, so this is our attempt to fix things.

This year we have Ducati of Redmond in the old space once occupied by Borders and we welcome them. They are nice people, so when you're done looking at cars, go buy another bike! We will do our best to be the perfect neighbor. We're glad you're here! 

Also new this year, the Original Pancake House will be opening at RTC sometime soon. I don't know what's exactly, "original" given there are so many of these places, but we'll go with it. It's probably a bit like First Savings Bank of which there are probably thousands. Trust me, the toasted coconut pancakes are worthy of public embarrassment. They are that good! We hit the one here in Kirkland rather often and if we're standing sideways you can tell. They will open at 6 AM so this will become popular for us early Saturday morning folk who are too excited to sleep or were home early tweezing the night before. I can never finish the mountain of food they serve up and they suggested I order the senior plate next time. Ouch! Really, Ouch! 

Sorry to put our opening off another week. We know it sucks. We're just as eager to get the season started, but this is Washington. We still love it here 51% of the time.

 

The Peanut Gallery

We love the fact that so many people are actively coming to our website. It gives us chills, but that could be the broken thermostat, or the onset of the flu, possibly hoof and mouth...

Anyhow, with all this great traffic comes a lot of criticism in two key areas, one is about getting their car in the show, and the other is about all the weather forecasters in our beloved car community.

First, lets talk about the easy one; the weather. We're not the National Weather Service. None of us have degrees in meteorology and I think it's safe to say that we don't even own thermometers. Most of us were traumatized by those damn things as kids, so we ban them in our houses. We rely on others who know a lot more than we do to tell us what's up. They have all the cool gear and we just have our thumbs. If they say it's a 30% chance of rain or higher, we just go with it and cancel. There is no point in arguing with us and we'd be happy to put you in touch with them if you think you can do a better job. We go with 30% because there is a 70% chance they are right, and we're 50/50 on that 70% so far.

The other time-burner is with regard to "exotics." This isn't Burger King, where they are not king, or Camping World, where they are not camping or a world, or Pizza Hut where there is no hut in sight, or Target where you're not allowed to shoot anything. We're Exotics at Redmond Town Center and we kind of mean it. The only tricky part is where and what that is. We write extensively about it on our FAQ page. We have no intention of becoming a "Cars and Coffee" because those events are not sustainable simply because while they draw some cool cars, they also draw some of the worst behavior. They always get shut down because of some self-absorbed, narcissistic, attention-seeking moron who ruins it for everyone. We don't want that to ever happen so we stand for something and our participants let us know it when they think we lowered the bar too much, so there is that too.  We're happy to help you figure out if your car should be at E@RTC, so write us if something is unclear. 

We want you to just come in and enjoy the show. Make some friends, have some laughs and good conversation. All that said, you could save us a ton of volunteer time if you didn't argue with us about the weather or getting in. We'd rather put those hours to better use.

 

Rained Out For The Next TWO Weeks! See You April 22!

We're rained out for April 8! We're two for two on the rainout odds. We are also OFF next week because of Redmond Town Center's "Eggstravaganza" on the 15th where you can come and pet some bunnies and goats without looking weird. It's unclear if you can pet the bunnies in the bounce house at the same time, or bounce around in there with a few goats. They are turning our parking lot into a bunny ranch and petting zoo for the day. It does say, "Goats and chicks petting zoo!" so I'm kind of thinking about that one. It looks like fun and you can get sprinkled with glitter and your face painted too. Bring the kids, have some fun! They support us, so let's support them! Get sprinkled! Find some eggs!

Our next possible opening day is April 22, 2017. I put the year down just in case some of you are time traveling with the kids that week.

We do have a BIG surprise showing up on the 22nd. We will say what it is as we get closer to the 22nd. You won't want to miss what shows up that day. It's cool. I'm not kidding.

The 22nd is also Earth Day, so here's my letter to Mrs. Earth.

Dear Mrs. Earth,

I hope this letter finds you well. I just wanted to say that without you, I'd be nothing. No, seriously, nothing. I mean it! Nothing! Not even a neutrino passing through on its way to somewhere, only to splat on some far giant, very dense mass or get sucked into a black hole to then continue on its journey after that wild ride. So small that nothing would ever notice...or care.

I feel lucky to firmly stand on you as you rip around the sun at 67,000 miles an hour without me or the fat guy sitting next to me lifting off and floating around this cafe like cheap Safeway balloons. I admit, I have a love-hate relationship with your gravity having felt your wrath throughout my life, especially the time I rode my bike off the ramp and forgot to stand up, but without you, where would I be?

With the sun moving along within our galaxy at 514,000 miles an hour, and our galaxy zinging through space at 2,237,000 miles an hour, it makes that crappy Prius rather pointless on the very day we celebrate, you. We're glad you're here. Don't go changing. Oh, and please don't hit something, and thanks for letting us go along for the ride until you do.

T

We also made some minor changes to our website because we're getting a lot of people asking if their car is qualified to get into E@RTC. We direct your attention to the FAQ tab where we do our best to help you sort it out. If not, please ask and we will gladly help you.

We also broke out the rules into a new tab because we get a lot of questions, that are also in the FAQ section, which is how we created our FAQ section in the first place. After all, they are FAQs. We look forward to seeing you all very soon! We're already getting complaints like we had something to do with the weather. Oh, we wish. Think of the money we'd make and the friends we'd have.

 

 

 

Our Next Possible Opening Day

We had fun with our April Fools prank. It looked like some people were ready to come over and burn down our houses for not letting them know we were on that day. I think what we loved the most was the number of people who are regulars who get our sense of humor who helped drive the joke much further than we could on our own. We bow to you all. Thanks to each of you! What a great car community!

For those of you who were fooled after reading our blog, we need to talk. Come on! The touring dead bodies of Enzo Ferrari and Ferruccio Lamborghini posing with Ronald McDonald didn't give you a clue? Really??? Little Sisters of the Turbo Encabulation didn't ring even a tiny little bell in your head? Not even a faint ding? No?

Okay, so here is what's up, and this is for real, the weather isn't looking great for April 8, but we won't call it until after 3 PM on Thursday. Still, we always get some kid who wants to argue with us about our calling it that soon. Even if it's 100% chance of rain and there is 100% chance they will be right, we're still not officially calling it until Thursday afternoon. You can then blame NOAA and the National Weather Service if they get it wrong, not us. None of us are standing on our roofs with our thumbs out. We all have jobs and stuff.

This is the important part... we will be off on the 15th no matter what because Redmond Town Center is hosting their Easter "eggstravangza". They need our parking lot for a bounce house. I lived in one in college. I didn't need furniture. I repeat, there will be NO E@RTC ON APRIL 15. Besides, some of us need to bury our accountants.

They will even have a bunny petting zoo. Can you imagine if Australia had a petting zoo? With all the deadly stuff they have down there, nobody would survive, so consider yourself really lucky. Show up with your kids! Find some eggs! 

Wow! Our Biggest Opening Day Ever! (Our Best April Fools Prank to Date)

Wow what a day it was!  We had well over 500 cars show up and easily 2,000 spectators. We can't thank Starbucks enough for finally stepping up for the first time in our nine years! It was about time you actually cared after all we've done for you. That was the biggest surprise of them all.

We'd like to thank Pagani for bringing not one but two Huayras! The new Koenigsegg Regera was breathtaking. We'd also like to thank the Italian government for the touring bodies of Enzo Ferrari and Ferruccio Lamborghini. We're all amazed by how well preserved they looked.

There was only one person who got out of hand and we got to see a taser work in mildly wet conditions. We had no idea they sparked that much and it was kind of cool. We will be talking about this day forever!

Thanks Anthony for the free concert. It was great to see you live. I can't believe we had that many people and the Navy Seals parachuting in was a real highlight given the low clouds and the lack of places to land. I had no idea a Prius roof would cave in like that, but still, it was cool.

I had no idea there were that many nuns in Redmond or that the little Sisters of the Turbo Encapulation could bake that many cookies! They monkey-stomped the Girl Scouts in one morning. Ronald McDonald was there too and that wasn't at all as creepy as we were expecting. It was fun seeing the photos taken of Ronald laying next to both Enzo and Ferruccio. It was like they were all napping except a little wrinkly, we have to admit.

What an opener!

We've Been Invited to Prom!

Well, not really, but that's what it feels like. I'll explain.

Every year we get pitched by local businesses who want to "partner" with us in some way. We never do it. Years ago, we fired up a campfire on the top of Rainier where we could casually clear our minds as we roasted marshmallows over a giant fire and told humorous limericks from our youth. We discussed the whole idea of sponsorship for the event and decided that the less we did, the better.

We take on just enough sponsors to pay for the basics and even then we shore up the difference out of our own pockets. We do this in the spirit of E@RTC. Outside of that, unless we think it makes for a greater show, we don't do it.

E@RTC is meant to be a community event. Our entire goal is to make people as happy and cheerful as Mr. Rogers did when you were staying home from work and watching him in your jammies with your feet wrapped around a gallon of ice cream. We decided that heavy sponsorships and "partnerships" would probably not allow us to remain the community event we are today, so we avoid it like a toothless date for corn on the cob.

It's perfectly okay to bring cars, but we don't allow signs or hanging out leaflets or samples or anything like that, and besides, it's also a rule at RTC. We don't allow window stickers, or anything that makes the event look like people are there to promote their business. Now if the M&M truck shows up handing out one pound bags of peanut M&Ms, screw it. They are getting in. We're otherwise going to pass.

What you can do is get involved. Volunteer! Give back to the car community. That's why we're there. We don't make this about us. This is all about having fun in the first place. Even if we do get those occasional anonymous emails from self-absorbed, narcissists, if not complete sociopaths, who want to make this all about them by calling us names because we don't do what they want. (We simply call them diaper babies... shhhhh!)

It's perfectly fine to do an open house after E@RTC as a destination and post something on our Facebook page as we do love helping the car community, but that's about as far as we go. We're deeply flattered that you'd love to partner with us and we hope you understand.

Oh Schnikes! We're rained out for our opening day!

Seriously, we really are. Only tell people we're there if you want to play an April Fools joke, otherwise there will be nobody there to laugh and point. We're sorry but we've seen this all before... we get all excited, dissemble our cars, scrub every part with a tooth brush, then put the thing back together and hope to God it never rains again. Well, we're thinking of all of you when we cancel due to rain. (We're nice that way.)

This also marks the first official day off for the Thugs, something they don't get once we roll into the real summer months...er weeks...er days. Let's hope it's a great summer and by fall you're all sick of us for another year. Until then, let's hope for great weather next week!

So, how did we call it? We read the post that the National Weather Service puts out on the Thursday after 3:00 PM. If they say rain, and it's 30% or above, it's a no-go.  It's that simple.  We hope to see you all on the 8th... unless it rains again, then I have to write something clever all over again. Pray for me.

What to Expect on Opening Day!

Every year, our opening day is one of the biggest events of our season. This is the day when some of us drive out of our caves after a long winter of hibernation having eaten nothing but cocktail weenies all winter. Some pull the dusty car cover off of the gems that have been hiding for the past six months. Some also find that nasty half a ham sandwich still left on the seat from November and now need a whole new interior. Off come the battery tenders, in goes the air in the tires, on goes the Show Shine, (whoops that's for horses, sorry wrong stuff...) on goes the Griots (not on the horse please) and you're ready to show up!

The kickoff is always weather-dependent, meaning the chance of rain has to be 30% or less in Redmond, and if we see conflicts from various weather sources, and it still averages 30% we will call it off. We sometimes wonder how the weather sources can be so wrong when they have all this really cool gear to play with. Which of us has our own Doppler radar? Hmmm? Yes, Albrecht, Filton, Burke and all the others who hide in your little weather cave, we read your stuff. You'd think with all the latest technology that by now you'd be at least 80% correct 100% of the time. It seems like when they tell us 30%, there is only a 10% chance they have the 30% right and even then that 10% chance is right only 50% of the time.

Now we ALL know this is April Fool's Day and we fully expect some of you youngsters to attempt to fool us into thinking your Prius is somehow exotic enough, like we've never ever heard that one before. Unless it was shot over a canyon and survived on all four wheels, and you have the video with all the screaming to prove it, it's still not going to make the grade. Please see our Frequently Asked FAQs that are asked most frequently about what is and isn't exotic and if you have questions just shoot us a note ahead of time. Anything that either looks like a unicorn or is painted with a unicorn on the side will be given special parking in Lot 9. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Lot 9, it's located in Moclips, Washington, near the corner of Forwood Avenue and Northern Way.

This is always a glorious day, with hugs, high-fives, fist bumps, palm slaps, a middle finger here or there from that, somewhat "less-than-significant" other who was left at home...as old friends come to see each other for the first time since we ended Season 8 last fall. It's like the glorious day you moved out of your parent's basement. Unless they kicked you out, then that day kind of sucked because then it meant staying on Grandma's couch where she does nothing but cry watching Ellen or talk about corn.

We want our opening day to be so big and fantastic, you tell your grand kids about it and someone someday makes a movie about that special day. They don't make just any movie, but one that sweeps the Academy Awards and stars good looking people who haven't even been born yet.

Opening day is always special for us and we deeply appreciate you all showing up. It always brings some amazing stuff we've never seen before and helps us set the high standards for the entire season. This is also one of our biggest spectator days where we see a lot of new faces that become a regular part of our season. Some of you come a very long way both as spectator and participant and we can't thank you enough. We're excited about this new season because we're better organized than ever before with even more prep work for the new season, thanks to our extremely handsome and talented volunteers, especially the guy who writes this stuff who's a real beaut.

Thanks again for being a part of E@RTC and we'll see you on April 1...unless it rains... then read this all over again...

See you opening day!